Confusion Within
by jazhpfreak
Summary: Lily Potter returns for her seventh year at Hogwarts happy, with fantastic grades and without a boyfriend, little did she know, when she left it would be quite the opposite......
1. I Hate you James Potter!

Confusion Within

Chapter 1- I hate you James Potter

His messy black hair gleamed, his deep hazel eyes bore into her own and sparkled mysteriously, his broad shoulders and muscles rippled from under his robes...God she hated him.

Lily Evans rolled her eyes as she glanced over at her two best friends flirting like there was no tomorrow.

"Natalie, Sunny, come one, we have to change into our robes, we will be at Hogwarts any minute!" she called, hoping they would come to there senses. They waved goodbye as three of the marauders walked off, one however, remained.

"Do you mind leaving Potter? We would like to get changed now" Lily said, wanting to get rid of him as soon as possible.

"Why do I have to go? I'm sure your friends wouldn't mind" he drawled in that sexy tone that made girls go crazy over him. Sunny and Natalie giggled stupidly.

"Get out!" She screamed, her patience wearing thin.

"Lighten up Evans! Merlin! I was about to leave anyway." He began to walk away, but shot a glance over his shoulder towards the girls. "I'll see you later..." And he left the compartment .

"Finally, I can't stand him. He struts around, thinking he is the best, just because girls go weak at the knees when he looks at them, and speaking of that, what is with you two? You looked like idiots over there!" Lily said. She didn't like the look her best friends were giving her. She glared back at her friends and together they stood there for several minutes, the only sound now was the roar of rain thudding against the roof of the train.

"What is going on?" she demanded. Sunny and Natalie looked like they were about to burst into a giggle fit again. Sometimes Lily felt like she was the only mature one. Why did her friend have to act like two year olds? They were seventeen for Merlin's sake!

"Well Lily honey... you have to promise not to get mad at us." Sunny said in a suspicious tone. Now Lily really didn't like the look they were giving her. A sudden, horrible thought struck her mind.

"What did you say to him?" She said, a sudden panic closing in on her. She hated James. She hated him so much she wished he would just drop off the face of the earth. It was Sunny that spoke next.

"Well, you see Lily, we realized that you didn't have a boyfriend, and we really wanted you to have one. I mean, I'm going out with Sirius, Natalie has got Remus. Heck, even Lavani has got a crush on some one! (There other best friend, Lavani, who had been deeply immerged in "The standard book of spells grade six," looked up and scowled at Sunny.) The point is..." Sunny continued "we just wanted you to be happy, and you and James seemed like a perfect couple!" She said in excitement.

"WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?" Lily screamed back at her friend.

"Ok, ok, well you see, we, we just sort of, um, well, we kinda..."

"Tell me right now." Said Lily through gritted teeth, trying to keep her voice steady

"Wetoldhimyoulikehimandjustpretendyoudontbecauseyouthinkhewillneverlikeyou" said Sunny.

"What?" Lily had barely caught what she said, and hoped what she had heard was wrong.

"We told James you like him and just pretend that you don't because you think he will never like you." Sunny looked away, and Lily swore under her breath at her friends. She had just felt the full anger of what they did swell up inside and was about to give her friends a well-deserved lecture when she felt the train slowing down. She quickly pulled her robes over her head, attached her new head girl badge onto the front and fought her way out of the train into the downpour, pushing her sleek, wet red hair off her face as she did so. She heard the voice of the teenage gamekeeper, Hagrid calling the first years to him. Lily found herself wishing she herself was a first year, innocent and carefree.

She jumped into a carriage and slammed the door in a huff. She was glad no-one else tried to enter. The carriage began to move, and then stopped very suddenly. The door gave a groan as if someone was trying to pull them open, then they sprang apart, and in jumped the last person she wanted to see.

"Potter? What are you doing here? I thought I made it quite clear that you are not welcome within a ten metre radius of me." Lily fumed, wishing he would go.

"Evans" James began in that sexy tone, "Your friends told me all about it, it's ok, you don't have to pretend any more" and with that he leaned over and tried to kiss her on the lips.

"GET OFF ME! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Lily screamed and pushed him with all her might.

"Jeeze, Evans, what's the matter with you?" James asked, his eyes searching deep into hers. "What do you really think of me; go on, you can tell me."

"I think you are the most arrogant prick I have ever met, and I wish you were not a Gryffindor, so I would never have to see you again." Lily breathed out. She had been waiting to say this for so long.

"But, but...your friends...what? James stuttered, he didn't look nearly as hot now, his wet hair plastered on his face, his mouth open and a slightly glazed look in his wide eyes.

"Look Potter, I'm sorry if you like me, but I just don't feel the same way about you. I hate you, in fact, and I'd say the odds of us getting together are about as low as your little friend Peter ever doing something useful to anyone!" And with that the carriage stopped with a jolt, and Lily Evans stepped out, leaving a dumbfounded James Potter staring rather stupidly after her.

(a/n, my first ever fan fic, please review so I can tell if I'm doing ok, (please be nice). And yes, I know, pretty boring chapter, but I had to start some where! I promise next chap will be longer, and we will start to see some more romance...)


	2. You Evil Little Cockroach!

Confusion Within

Chapter 2- You Evil Little Cockroach!

**A/N Hello all. This chapter was very difficult to write, I kept getting distracted, Happy reading!**

Lily woke the next morning to a bright, sunny patch of light streaming in the window of her dorm, completely different to last night's downpour. She opened her eyes and felt temporally happy, she was home at last.

Ever since she got her letter form Hogwarts, Lily had never felt the same way about the four bedroom house she grew up in, about the Muggle School she had attended, about her sister, Petunia. Before she knew she was a witch, Petunia and her had got along fine, they would play and have fun together. Now it felt like they were different species.

Lily had never really felt the same as her family. They had all possessed their families trademark blonde hair, small blue eyes and pale skin. Lily, on the other hand, with her tanned skin, flaming red hair and startling green eyes, looked very different.

Lily sat up suddenly and stared around, wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve and blinking her stiff eyelids, trying to remember why she felt so terrible. Her pillow and pyjamas still felt damp from last nights crying session.

Then it all came flooding back. Her friends had told James Potter that she liked him. She jumped out of bed and began to dress, wondering how on earth she was going to worm her way out of this one.

She entered the Great Hall half an hour later to find her friends and a gossipy bunch of sixth year girls huddled together by the Gryffindor house table. She slowly made her way over there, dodging Sirius as he tried to drag her into the play fight he was hosting further up the table.

The group of girls broke apart as Lily entered the vicinity, and she was sure she heard a couple of "SHHHHHH" and "SHES COMING!" go around the group before hand.

"Hi Lily honey, did u have a nice sleep? I heard some rumors…….." said a fifth year with thick brown hair and brown eyes as she walked back to the Ravenclaw table.

Lily marched the rest of the distance to her friends, now positively fuming with anger. A group of about five of six Hufflepuff girls broke off and gave her smug looks before they turned away. Lily was now in the center of the group, and almost everyone reluctantly walked off, but one small group, containing Sunny, Natalie, Lavini and two other girls were still huddled together, whispering quickly and quietly. Lily snuck up and hid behind a group of third year boys who were discussing their time tables, and listened.

"….No, that's definitely not what he told me, he said they were making out for at least an hour before Filch caught them." Said Natalie in a low voice.

"See, that's different again from what he told me, what he said to me was more like what he told Lavini, He except he said they made out before the coaches even reached Hogwarts, not after dinner!" Sunny quietly argued.

"Well," Said one of the other girls, a sixth year with shiny black hair and deep blue eyes that seemed to skim the crowd as she talked, no doubt looking for more rumors, "I think what actually happened has got a bit jumbles, but we know for sure that he asked her out, she said yes and they snogged for a long time, we just don't know where and when that took place. I secretly don't think she deserves him, I mean, she is nice and everything, but why is she so popular? She's not even that pretty!" The girl spat out, the jealousy shining obviously on her face.

"She's a lot prettier than you, Janie! And I just wonder how he convinced her to do it, she seemed to really hate him. Then again, maybe we were right all along, she really does like him……." Sunny said, while Natalie and Lavini eyed The girl called Janie with dislike.

Lily decided she had heard enough, and was just about to step out from behind the third years when a sudden, deep and sexy voice joined them. Lily froze, and slunk back to he hiding spot.

"Hello gorgeous ladies, how are you this morning?" came the same seductive voice. Lily didn't have to look to realize who this was.

"JAMES!" Screeched the girls in unison

"We were hoping you would come and give up the real story on what happened last night." Lavini said calmly.

"Certainly, well you see, When the coaches came to take us up to the school, I noticed Lily was alone in a coach. She stuck her head out of the window, called me inside. I went in, and she confessed she had always loved me. We made out for AGES and only broke apart when we arrived at Hogwarts. She then read me a poem about our love. It was kinda sweet." He finished awkwardly.

Lily felt sick. Not only had he told everyone complete lies about her, he seemed to have managed to convince himself aswell! She was aware she was crying, she wanted it to end, all the lies and bitchiness.

She stepped out from behind the third years, and strided over to where they were sitting.

"LILY!" said Sunny in a sickly sweet way. We were just wondering when you were going to……Lily? What the matter? Why are you crying?"

"Babe! Did u sleep well?" James asked, a look of glee on his face

"I HATE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I KNOW YOU LIKE ME ALL, I SUPPOSE YOU ARE UPSET, BUT THIS? HOW COULD YOU SINK THIS LOW YOU EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH! I SHOULD JUST JINX U RIGHT HERE!" Lily screamed at him, her face read with fury, tears streaming down her face and onto her robes. Here bag had fallen off her shoulders, her hat askew on her head, but she didn't care, she reached into her robes for her wand, and pulled it out quickly. She began to hex and jinx him in every way she knew possible. Jelly legs, tickling jinx, bat bogey hex, so by the end he looked not much like a human, just a very good looking chipmunk.

"EVANS! WHAT IN GODS NAME TO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?"

Lily froze. She forgot there had been teachers in the room. Oh well, she could live with a detention, but not with people thinking she liked James Potter. She wurled around to find Professor McGonagall glaring at her.

"Umm, I gotta go, Umm, class, hmmm, bye!" She mumbled as she ran off, still shaking with anger.

Professor McGonagall ran over and revived James. He sat up slowly and looked around. Everyone in the hall had gone quiet. He got to his feet, and said loudly so everyone could hear… "Its all right folks, she's just a bit mad, must have thought I was flirting with Sunny." And he walked out after Lily, trying to see where she had gone, they needed to talk.

**A/N Hi. Sorry that was so short again, I just cant write anymore now, soooo tired, next one will be longer, plz review, I want to get 10 review before I write the next chapter! Thanx for reading!**

**Love Jazhpfreak**


	3. Introducing, Head Boy and Girl!

Confusion Within

Chapter 3- Introducing, Head Boy and Girl!

**A/N Hey everyone! Sorry bout the delay...been really busy. Anyhoo, I know in the original chapters I said they were all in year 6, but I had to change that to year 7 coz I needed Lily to be head girl, so...and just to clarify, James is head boy too. I also had to redo a small piece of the first chapter, just to show she is head girl. Thanks so much for reading, and please review, it makes it all so worth while! Enjoy! oxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**Lily's POV**

Lily ran as fast as she could towards the Gryffindor common room. She still couldn't believe that she had just jinxed James Potter in the middle of the Great Hall, not to mention with about 20 teachers watching. She looked up and realized she was at the portrait of the fat lady already, she had hardly noticed where her feet were carrying her.

"Frangipani" Lily said as she gasped for breath. The portrait opened and she fell inside, got up quickly, ran to her room and collapsed on her bed. Lily lay there for along time, thinking about James.

She supposed she could see why girls thought he was hot, his hair did look really good messed up, she thought. His eyes were so dark and murky, she felt like she could stare into them for hours and find out something new about him each time. And all of that added to the fact that he was tall, and had a great body from playing so much quidditch.

"Hmmmmm," she said aloud. He did sound pretty damn good if you put it that way. Then, for the first time in her life, she imagined what it would be like to kiss James Potter. She was staring into his eyes, they were drawing closer...

"AHHHHHHH! Why the hell am I thinking about James Potter! I HATE HIM!"

He is an asshole, and he didn't deserve to live in her opinion. Yet that didn't explain why she still felt like kissing him. They were drawing closer again. This time, they would meet...

"This is getting weird. Lily Evans, you despise James Potter, and always will." She said firmly to herself. And with that, she glanced at her watch and hurried off to Herbology.

**James's POV**

James hurried along the corridor, wanting to catch up with her as soon as possible. He was convinced she liked him to, he thought if he told everyone what he wanted to happen really had, she could just play along and would be spared the embarrassment of owning up to it. It seemed like a great idea at the time, he was sure it would work. Maybe it was just all the years of getting spoiled by his parents, or the fact that every girl in the school was dying to go out with him, or that he got along with everyone, and no one ever disagreed with him. What ever it was, it had caused him to build a rather large ego, and he was not accustomed to things not working out.

His plan seemed to have backfired though, and he couldn't understand that.

He of course loved all the other girls at Hogwarts too. Sure, Sunny Austin was desired by all the guys, with her gorgeous blonde hair, bright blue eyes sparkling and great body. Same for Natalie Grey, her long brown curls framing her pretty face, eyes a dark shade of brown, and her shorter, thinner build making her equally as popular. Then there was Media Thompson from Ravenclaw, her beautiful and elegant with sheets of shiny black hair and deep blue eyes. And if you wanted a change from the popular skanks, there was Lavini Lovegood, she had the same colouring as Sunny, waist length blonde hair and huge light blue eyes, she was slightly strange, but guys liked her because she was different. But none of these were to James's liking.

He had of course gone out with all four at some time, Sunny in 3rd year, Lavini and Media in 4th, Natalie in either 4th or 5th, he couldn't remember. But that wasn't the point. The point was that none of the relationships had lasted.

Lily was so different from them all. She had much more self respect, much more grace, and in James's view was much prettier. What bugged him is that she didn't seem to like _him. _This was a problem that had never bothered him before; he was James Potter for god's sake! He could have any girl he wanted.

"Except the one you really need" said a small voice in his head. He ignored it and continued to jog towards the common room.

**Lily's POV**

"I'll just run in, and calmly explain to Professor Sprout that I got caught up doing homework, and couldn't reach her class in time." Lily told herself, quickening her pace down the corridor.

"I'm sure she'll let me off. Still..." she glanced at her watch again "I've never been forty-five minutes late for class before."

She had just began to contemplate whether she should even go at all when a sudden, horrible thought struck her. She had been so preoccupied with James and her stupid friends that she had completely forgotten about being head girl.

Dumbledore had told her to report to his office early on their first day back to discuss her duties. She let out a little gasp. Dumbledore must think she had not wanted to show up! Either that or he thought she just couldn't be bothered. She still didn't even know who the head boy was. With another little wave of horror, she realized that she was supposed to be sleeping in her special head girl dorms. She couldn't believe she had completely forgotten all about it. She had been so excited when she had found out.

She now had no choice. She would go strait to Dumbledore, explain everything, and then move her things up to her own room.

She turned on her heel and began to walk towards Dumbledore's office.

**James's POV**

James reached the common room and ran inside. He paused for a minute, trying to get rid of the slicing pain of a stitch in his side. He realised there wasn't anytime for that, and was just about to run up the girls dormitory staircase when he heard a cough from behind him. He turned quickly to see Lavini Lovegood standing in the corner.

"What do...you... want" He said while gasping for air.

"I just wanted to tell you that Lily Evans doesn't like you, and you need to get over her if you want anything to ever happen between you two. Oh, and I'm sorry about your wrist, that will really hurt." Lavini said, and then quickly crossed the room and exited through the portrait hole.

James stood there in shock. What the bloody hell was that supposed to mean? He had to get over her if he wanted them to go out? But then didn't that mean he would be over her when they were going out? What was the point in that? And what was wrong with his wrist? He looked down at it, but it seemed exactly the same as it always did. He pushed that thought out of his mind. He needed to talk to Lily. He quickly sprinted over to the girls staircase and began to run up.

Almost instantly, the stairs disappeared and were replaced by a smooth metal. He felt himself loose his footing and begin to slide down, doing a summersault in mid-air and then landing painfully on his wrist.

Damn Lavini and her divination.

James glanced at his watch and yelled out in shock. He was forty five minutes late for Transfiguration, and he had a feeling McGonagall wasn't very happy with him to begin with. Oh well, he would simply say he got caught up doing head boy stuff. OH HOLY CRAP! He slapped his hand to his forehead. He completely forgot, he was head boy! He also forgot, he was supposed to meat Dumbledore in his office This morning. CRAP! And he was also supposed to have moved into his own private head dormitory. With the head girl. He felt a happy sensation in his stomach. He had a pretty good idea who head girl would be, and he liked that idea a lot.

**A/N- Ok guys, 3rd chapters finally here. I am sooo sorry it took so long, I really didn't want to leave you guys for that long, but my best friend has been Hawaii for two months, and has just come back, so I have been spending all of my spare time at her house. That and the fact I have just been plain busy. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, It took me long time to decide whether James would be head boy straight away, or whether he would be the back up for the other head boy who couldn't fill the position for some reason. Well, you saw the result. Ok, I'm going to go get started on chapter 4 now, im rambling. Please R & R!**

**Thanks, Jazhpfreak**


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